I’m going to be honest, I’m actually really excited...

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:26:42 -0500

I’m going to be honest, I’m actually really excited to see this movie.

"There is no Central Jersey. They’re just people who don’t want to be associated with South Jersey..."

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:52:00 -0500

“There is no Central Jersey. They’re just people who don’t want to be associated with South Jersey and know they’re not North Jersey.”

- The Wisdom of Adam J Dello Buono

“Nobody goes into an ice cream store unhappy.”

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:24:32 -0500

“Nobody goes into an ice cream store unhappy.”

Liberals, Democrats, free-thinkers, and generally intelligent people are all really excited about...

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 12:07:18 -0500

Liberals, Democrats, free-thinkers, and generally intelligent people are all really excited about the results of Tuesday night. It seems like everyone has just breathed a huge sigh of relief.

But I don’t think anyone really realizes how huge that sigh is. For eight years, voices of dissent have been called unAmerican, unpatriotic, communist, or even terrorist. Those voices have had a few moments of relief, where things seemed to work out the way they wanted, but those were only momentary. The next day, we all knew the shit would go right back to hitting the fan.

Speaking for myself, I still have this feeling that the other foot’s about to fall. That tomorrow, we’re going to wake up and be ashamed of our country. It’s a hard feeling to shake, eight years of conditioning does that to you. But Barack Obama isn’t going away. He’s going to be president for four years. Four years! We can breathe easy.

It’s our country again.

Way to go, America.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 01:19:35 -0500

Way to go, America.

We’re going to have a black president.

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 23:31:40 -0500

We’re going to have a black president.

WE DID IT!

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 23:10:15 -0500

WE DID IT!

Change

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:05:11 -0500

Change

Well so do I, but I don’t go making posters about it.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:51:39 -0400

Well so do I, but I don’t go making posters about it.

Whaaaaaaat

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:56:04 -0400

Whaaaaaaat

It's so simple. It escalates you.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:33:00 -0400

I’ve always been pretty annoyed by this, but ever since getting a job in the city, annoyance has turned into abject hatred. Escalators: you walk on the left, ride on the right. This is an unspoken rule that allows for maximum commuting efficiency. It allows for lazy/nonsentient creatures to get fatter, while letting humans get where they’re going. Why is it, then, that some people can’t understand that? WHY MUST YOU STAND STILL IN THE LANE THAT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS IS FOR WALKING? If you want to stand, fine! I have no problem with that! Just do it where you’re supposed to, not right where thirty other people are trying to use their legs.

And another thing- why is there even a standing land on the escalator, anyway? It’s moving stairs! It does half the work for you! JUST WALK!

Why do people put the word “sack” in anything that isn’t bag-related? Are there no...

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:02:02 -0400

Why do people put the word “sack” in anything that isn’t bag-related? Are there no third graders around to say: “Hey! Nuts!”

A weird thing happened this weekend.

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:09:58 -0400

This weekend I was on my way to a friend’s house when I saw an ice cream shop and decided to stop in for a cone. I approached the counter.

“What’ll you have?” asked the kid behind the counter. I’d place him at about high-school age.

I surveyed the choices in the freezer before me. To the left was a huge tub of chocolate, and all the way on the right was an equally huge tub of vanilla. I assumed these were so much bigger because a greater number of people asked for those. In between the two, there were dozens of smaller tubs, each filled with a different flavor. And what flavors they were! I asked the kid behind the counter for a few taste samples. The first one I tried was a little too out there for me, the second one kind of bland. A few more misses and finally, on my sixth taste, I found the ice cream I wanted.

“That one, there, what flavor is that?” I asked.

“Peanut Chocolate Caramel,” he replied.

“I’ll have two scoops of that please.”

“You can’t have it.”

“…Excuse me?”

“You can’t have Peanut Chocolate Caramel. You have to pick either Chocolate of Vanilla. Otherwise, what’s the point?” he explained.

“I… what are you talking about? I give you my money, you give me what I want. That seems to work everywhere else, why can’t you do it?”

“Fine, if that’s the one you really want,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s… that’s the one I want.” I was dumbstruck.

He reached into the freezer and got to scooping. I looked around the store, surprised it had stayed in business this long with service like this. Finally, he rose up, cone in hand. “$3.75, please.” In his hand was a cone with two scoops of chocolate.

“But that’s not what I wanted!”

“I know. I took your decision into consideration and passed it along to our Delectable College. They decided that chocolate would actually be better for you than what you wanted. So this is what you’re getting.”

“But… I…”

“$3.75, please.”

Not wanting to continue this any longer than I had to, and really just wanting any kind of ice cream at this point, I paid the boy and I left. As I exited the store, I looked up at their sign, so I would know never to come here again. It read:

Democracy Ice Cream

Right.

We're going to make a million bucks.

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:15:00 -0400

After a solid hour of debating the best way to rob a bank with Mouse, Adam, Stanisz, and I, and still not being able to find the perfect balance of illegality, profit, variables, and risk, Adam hit upon the best possible solution.

Write a book called How to Not Rob a Bank.

I swear to God, we’re going to be so ridiculously rich.

A shame what the cancer’s done to his freedom of movement.

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:11:08 -0400

A shame what the cancer’s done to his freedom of movement.

Jean Claude Van Damme as himself

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:06:19 -0400

Jean Claude Van Damme as himself:

I don’t know what to say. I definitely want to see this, though.

samreich:

This does look incredible.

teamtigerawesome:

I’m not being sarcastic, this looks indredible.

Live jazz! Awesome!

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 14:57:06 -0400

Live jazz! Awesome!

Evan’s having a better time tonight than I am.

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:09:00 -0400

Evan’s having a better time tonight than I am.

Barack O’Lantern

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:07:04 -0400

Barack O’Lantern

Pumpina’s got soul.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:03:35 -0400

Pumpina’s got soul.

I’m going to be honest, I’m actually really excited...

I’m going to be honest, I’m actually really excited...

"There is no Central Jersey. They’re just people who don’t want to be associated with South Jersey..."

“Nobody goes into an ice cream store unhappy.”

Liberals, Democrats, free-thinkers, and generally intelligent people are all really excited about...

Way to go, America.

We’re going to have a black president.

WE DID IT!

Change

Well so do I, but I don’t go making posters about it.

Whaaaaaaat

It's so simple. It *escalates* you.

Why do people put the word “sack” in anything that isn’t bag-related? Are there no...

A weird thing happened this weekend.

We're going to make a million bucks.

A shame what the cancer’s done to his freedom of movement.

Jean Claude Van Damme as himself

Live jazz! Awesome!

Evan’s having a better time tonight than I am.

Barack O’Lantern

Pumpina’s got soul.

It's so simple. It escalates you.